How to Survive the Friend Zone: A Guide for the Hopelessly In Love
You've been there. You confessed your feelings to your crush, only to be met with the dreaded words "Let's be friends". And like a fool, you agreed. Now you're stuck in the friend zone, pretending you don't care about them anymore. But don't despair, I'm here to help you cope with this painful situation.
Here are six steps to survive the friend zone and keep your sanity:
Deny your feelings. Tell yourself you're over them and that you're happy to be friends. Then cry yourself to sleep every night and hope they don't hear you.
Be jealous of their new partner. Stalk their social media and get angry when they post pictures with their new boo. Remember, you hate them because they're not you.
Keep hoping they'll change their mind. Ignore the fact that they've made it clear they don't want you. Just keep dreaming that one day they'll wake up and realize you're the one for them.
Pretend you're fine. Act like you're not hurt every time they talk about their relationship problems. Smile and nod and offer advice, even though it kills you inside.
Avoid anything romantic. Don't touch them, don't flirt with them, don't spend time alone with them. It's all part of the friend zone shuffle, where you act like a friend but secretly want more.
Wait for your chance. If nothing else works, wait for them to break up with their current partner, then confess your love again. It's a long shot, but hey, it worked in every rom-com ever made, right?
So there you have it – the ultimate guide to surviving the friend zone. Just follow these six steps, and you'll be able to fool yourself into thinking you don't have feelings for your crush anymore. Or, you know, you could just move on and find someone who actually likes you back.
But that's too easy, right?